Enjoying an outing today are we? This was a question I was asked when at my local garden centre recently. One small comment but one huge indictment on society’s perceptions of disability. The guy seemed nice enough, displaying well-maintained teeth in his wide, jovial smile, just another customer like me. Unlike me, he wasn’t in a wheelchair, and neither was my companion, who didn’t get asked if she was enjoying a nice day out.

On a ranking of awful things to say to someone this barely makes a mark in the thoughtful-to-heinous greetings scale but two things bothered me about this question:

Caring for someone in a physically or mentally vulnerable situation can at times be a more draining, compromising and lonely experience than their afflicted charges bear. Our disabled are marginalised, and our carers are seriously overlooked. I discuss how we can all help the support people around us.

Acquiring the symptoms of a progressive condition takes some getting used to but why do so many of us feel the need to cloak these changes in an ugly cape of lies (to ourselves and others), excuses and denial? Why do we cling to the old normalcy so frantically? And what harm are we doing to ourselves in the process?.

As a newbie to this wheelchair game, I was feeling a little reticent and self-conscious about using a beach wheelchair during our recent visit to Noosa in beautiful Queensland. It really had been ages since feeling sand and water under my feet and why else would we be at this Aussie iconic beach destination (apart from food and champagne of course, but I can get that in Melbourne)?.

We tracked the wheelchair down at a nearby hotel, and for a mere gold coin donation this rubber-wheeled jalopy was ours and I was on the pathway to salty watery freedom with a small dose of terror.